These same “holy ghost bumps” that are the title of this blog began to overtake me. The tingle began at the tips of my fingers and gradually worked their way up my arms to the base of my neck. Up the back of my neck to the top of my head. They enveloped my upper torso and lit me with their holy fire. As I continued to pray, my hand on the glass in the cell door, my eyes closed and head bowed, the words coming from my mouth gradually became incoherent. I have no idea where they came from, nor what I was saying. All I know is that they were filled with a power that started tears freely flowing from my eyes. My prayers for the young man on the other side of the door were fervent…filled with an urgency that I have only prayed one other time in my life: at the loss of my daughter in March.
There were only three words that I uttered that were in plain English: Yahweh, Father and Abba. I never call those names when I pray. Ever. Yet they seemed the natural thing to say at the time. The young man I was praying for is incarcerated in the facility where I now work. He had received bad news and just didn’t feel like he could endure any more. I could see the rage and anger in his clenched fists and the tightness in his jaw. His head down, he was struggling mightily. My heart went out to him, broke for him. I just had to do something, so I prayed. When you don’t know what else to do, just pray and let our Father do the rest.
I’ve heard of “praying in the Spirit” before and have seen others do it on a few occasions. I’ve asked God before to fill me with His presence like that several times. I guess I didn’t know what I was asking for until it truly hit me…like cold, clear water to quench the most parched lips and dry throat. It soothes. It satiates. It brings with it the peace of God almighty. And I pray for more…
The job (Lieutenant at a juvenile detention center) I now have is one of the most stressful and difficult ones that I have EVER had. Many times over the course of the last two months I have wanted to leave and find something else, even if it meant digging a ditch or working in a field. And I’ve done both of those, by the way. Every time, however, that I feel like I can’t endure any more, especially coupled with the grief that I struggle with every day, God shows me that this is where He wants me at this time in my life. Would someone else step up to that door and pray for that young man when he needed it the most? Possibly, but He led me to do it instead. He entrusted ME with the honor and blessing of being filled to overflowing with His glory and majesty. All I can say to that is, “Thank You, Father God. Thank You.”
I also thank Him for finally allowing me some time to write for Him. I have missed posting to, and reading from, my fellow blogging friends. Lord willing, He will soon make a way for me to give updates on all of the amazing things that have been happening to me and my family since we lost Mia in March.
For now, know that we struggle daily with our grief (and will for a looooong time), but we are still blessed. We feel Him closer than ever before. We know He will never leave nor forsake us. No matter how strong the storm, our God is stronger.
Until next time, I leave you with two things. This verse that will prayerfully help someone through their trials and tribulations. It may be one I’ve used before, but lately it has been heavy on my heart. The second is a tribute video that I made for Mia. The two songs are the ones that John Glosson (of “Duets” fame and Praise and Worship Leader at our church :D) sang at Mia’s memorial service. I pray that they both bless you as you have been blessings to me and my family.
“Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time He said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
-2 Corinthians 12:8-10