The Return…

From Corkhope.com

From Corkhope.com

Here’s a snapshot of a day in the life of Guy and Lena.  I come home from work at 6:15am after working 12 hours.  I wake Lena and Makayla up around 6:30 to get ready for work and school respectively.  Mia wakes up around 6:45 and is ready for her bottle…and boy does she let you know she’s ready!  I feed her (Lena’s in the shower), and then wake Emma up at 7:00.  I get her some milk and put Little Einsteins on for her until it’s time to head out to the sitter.  By the time 7:20 rolls around, I’ve spent a total of 45 minutes awake with them.  Mia usually goes back to sleep at 8:00 and doesn’t wake up for another bottle for about three hours…give or take.  That’s when I get to sleep.

Fast forward to the evening.  I’ve only slept for those three hours (colic is BRUTAL on an infant) and am pretty wore out.  Lena gets off work at 5:30pm if she’s lucky.  She heads to the sitter to pick up Emma and gets home about 6:15.  I was supposed to be at work at six, but thankfully they are understanding of the fact that we have only one car and can only afford to send one of the girls to the sitter.  I hand Mia off to Lena and get Emma out of the car.  After making sure they’re settled in and I’ve given Lena an update on Mia’s day, I give them kisses and head off to work.  I get an hour for dinner, so I try to take that when it’s time for bed.  Emma likes to have kisses from her daddy when she goes to sleep (and so does Lena :D).

Rinse and repeat…

I’m not making excuses as to why I haven’t written or walked as close to God as I should lately.  There are none.  I should continue to praise His name in our difficulties.  I should continue to walk with Him on a daily basis, making Him the center of my world.  I should have faith that He knows what the needs of me and my family are.  And that He will meet those needs a hundredfold.  But I don’t.

I’m a human being, and as such, am prone to get in my own way.  I honestly have pulled out my keyboard and sat down to write on numerous occasions since my last post.  And every time I do, I just feel so drained physically, emotionally and spiritually that I say to myself, “I can’t.  I’ll try it again tomorrow.”

What if tomorrow never comes?  What if I had the opportunity to show my faithfulness to God and an unbeliever in spite of my situation and didn’t?  What happens to my children and my wife if I don’t live up to my responsibility to God to be the spiritual leader of my house?  I’ll tell you.  The last month or so happens.  Complacency.  Fatigue.  Dejection.  Immobility.

I continue to pray every day.  I ask for Him to guide me back to where I need to be.  I ask for Him to show me His plan for my life and use me where He needs me the most.  Being at the college CAN’T be a part of that plan.  Being away from my family as much as I am can’t be what He has in store for me, can it?  It may be…

Last week, I gave my testimony for the first time ever to a group of college students at their bible study.  I put it all out there, the story of my life (which will be forthcoming on the “About” section soon) and how God has brought me to where I am today.  The students were awesome, and one of them remembered what I said.  He called me last night around midnight to come minister to a 19-year-old who was having some self-destructive thoughts because of the stresses they were under.  We prayed, and they’ll hopefully be coming to church with me and my family this Sunday.  I thanked God for putting me where I was last night.

I can’t say that I’ll be able to write like I want to for Him.  It turns out that my plans aren’t exactly what He has planned for me.  I can’t remember if I’ve used this verse before, but it’s become a mantra in my life.  The student from last night talked about how they have all these plans for their life.  God has even great plans in store…

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord.  “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”- Jeremiah 29:11

All they need to do, as I have been, is continue to call on Him and ask Him to guide you to His plan for your life.  A lot easier said than done sometimes, but He’s always there waiting for us to do just that.

I’ve been away for far too long and dwelt on the negatives of my situation.  No more.  This is my return…

This song played on K-Love while I was writing this post.  I think it’s really appropriate for the tone of my message today.  I pray He shows you His plans for your life…and always believe.

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15 responses to “The Return…

  1. It’s funny. As I’m reading your post, and the trials and tribulations of the Wolfe pack lately, I kept being reminded of a couple of my posts from late December, early January . . . when I was just about (physically, mentally and vocationally) where you are now. They were written kind of back-to-back; the 1st was when everything was coming full-tilt, and the 2nd was when I finally made our major life decision. If you’ve got time, see if they relate to you at all, or if you find any solace in ’em:

    “Really??!!” http://wp.me/p1SPvQ-9b

    and “A Simple Yes or No” http://wp.me/p1SPvQ-9L

    One of these nights you’re off, we’ll get ahold of each other and have a virtual cup of coffee or beer and talk about life! Love you, brother! Peace!

    • I’ll definitely check them out, Kent. Thanks for the recommendation…and the motivation. And I’ll bring the Starbuck’s Tuscan Blend with caramel macchiato creamer :D!

  2. This was beautifully written, so honest and raw. You wrote of what we all struggle with — keeping at it when life’s schedule and challenges seem intent on wearing us down.

    I think of Matthew 6:34 here, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

    I am glad you’re back .. on whatever schedule life allows you 🙂
    MJ

  3. Guy, I am so proud of you. I hope you see God never moves and we have a choice. I love you and know he can do anything through us no matter how broken we are. I know your were gonna do something with your testimony. I hope that is conformation for you. I believe in you and am your biggest fan. Draw close 2 him and he will draw close to u! Call me when u can:)

  4. Guy I enjoyed and was encouraged by your testimony- I don’t get on fb much but today just decided to take the time. I know you are soooo busy but i wish you and Mike could shoot some hoops and hang out. He has always needed a Male friend to share his passion for the Lord and someone besides me or family to talk to about the struggles of juggling it all together and REAL life:) Its hard to find someone who shares the deep things of God that Mike wants to share. Maybe you two can hang out – if time can be found:) God bless you and Lena and girls-Amber Lynn Clements:)

    • Thanks for taking the time, Amber. I’m really glad you did. And I’d love to get together with Mike…though my knee probably won’t allow me to play basketball. Does he golf??? As for life’s daily struggles, I know you guys are just as much aware of them as we are. We all could use as much support as we can get. We’ll keep your family in our prayers, and I’ll say a special prayer for some of that time you were talking about. Be blessed :D.

  5. I have never been so proud of my son. I have come to the realization that you are not the man that I created when you were born, but, you are the man that He made you be. He gave you the strength you have needed throughout your life….you may not have realized it “way back when.” But, it has come to a full fruition after watching you this weekend. You showed nothing but love an affection to everyone. You were there, just as He is there for you! God bless you and your family always….Mom

  6. Guy: While my circumstances are not exactly the same as your’s, I could relate so much to questioning if I’m in God’s plan for my life and the daily complacency, fatigue, dejection and immobility. The Jeremiah 29:11 verse was one that someone shared with me several years ago when I shared the testimony of how God has worked in my life through some tragic circumstances. He continues to work even through this past year after the death of our son. I pray that He works through you as you walk through the aftermath of the tragic passing of your daughter. While we rejoice that we will see our children again someday and they are currently in the presence of our Lord and Savior, we must still live out these days missing their presence here while clinging to our Heavenly Father.

    Thank you again for sharing your journey – I look forward to continuing read more.

    God bless you brother.
    Andy

    • 29:11 is the verse that I keep close to my heart as well, Andy. It’s up on some signage at our church, people keep sharing it with me and I see it all over the place. He’s not-so-subtly letting me know He is there and does have a plan for my life. My wife, however, is having a much harder time with it. Thank you for sharing your story with the world as well. We’ll keep praying that God continues to work through you and show you His plans for all of this. Be blessed, Brother.

      Guy

      • Guy: Thank you for replying. If you feel free to, please let your wife know that my wife, Brenda, has also had a much harder time with understanding God’s will and plan through our tragedy. Those first weeks and months were extremely intense and she still sometimes struggles with doubt and guilt. However, God has led her through and she continues to see just enough of His glory to keep her going. I don’t share this to concern you, but hopefully to encourage Lena that she is not alone.

        I pray – “Heavenly Father, please give my brother Guy strength and courage to lead his family through this valley and to trust in Your goodness, grace and love through Your Son, Jesus Christ.”

        Blessings,
        Andy

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