The Deadly D’s…

Writer’s block?  No.  More like life block!  Lately it seems as though the world has been closing in on me and my family.  And while I know that He’s there for me if I call on Him for strength and wisdom and courage, Satan has been attacking me day in and day out.  It pains me to say this, but he’s been winning.  He knows exactly what buttons to push to draw you away from the word of God and His grace.  He knows what “D’s” to use to lead you to darkness…doubt, discouragement and despair.

They fall in line, one upon the other.  It begins with doubt in your mind.  One minute you’re on cloud nine.  You’re praising God Almighty for your blessings and the promises of His future for you.  The next, you wonder if He hears you at all.  I know in my heart of hearts that He does.  I know that He is responsible for everything I have and everything that I am.  But if you listen to the doubt long enough, it’s easy to slip into a state of inaction and lethargy.  All of a sudden, you’re not fortifying yourself against Satan’s onslaught…and the doubt grows.

Once it takes hold, the doubt gives way to discouragement, and they feed upon one another.  The more you doubt, the more you get discouraged.  The more you get discouraged, the more you doubt (picture the dog chasing his tail around and around, never catching it).  Discouragement is a particularly nasty beast.  With it, Satan can keep you under his oppression with relative ease.  “God’s not answering my prayers,” you say to yourself.  “What have I done to displease Him?”  Which gives way to, “Why bother?”  You become discouraged to the point that you no longer try.

Not trying begets a one-way trip  into despair.  Being away from your family.  Struggles in paying your bills.  Not spending enough time telling your wife how much you love and adore her.  Your two-year-old telling you not to go and she misses you as you’re walking out the door to go to work the graveyard shift.  Feeling like your meant for so much more while at the same time feeling like your stuck in mud…spinning your wheels and not moving anywhere.

You continue to cry out to Him in spite of the D’s.  Only the cries are half-hearted.  They don’t carry the weight of your faith because it’s being held down, face pushed into the puddle and you’re drowning, choking, gasping for breath.  Where do you go from here?  You have two choices:  you can either continue down that dark road or you can lift your head up and begin to claw your way out of the mire.

Here’s what I did…being a born again child of God.  I’ve put my big boy underwear on and have cried out to Him…and He’s heard my plea.  I grabbed up my bible and clutched it to my heart.  I filled my mind with images of His face, bloodied and battered…a crown of thorns piercing His brow.  I’ve envisioned Him carrying the instrument of His death down a crowded thoroughfare, struggling beneath its weight.  I’ve envisioned Him reaching down from the heavens, blinding light behind Him and showering me with its warmth.

I know you’re there, Father.  I know You have plans for me, and it’s my impatience that’s started me listening to the first “D”.  I know that You continue to bless me beyond measure even though I’m so unworthy of Your love.  I know that you’re carrying me through the discouragement and despair, eliminating any and all doubt…bringing me to this point.  Bringing me home again.

“I pray to You, O Lord, my rock.  Do not turn a deaf ear to me.  For if You are silent, I might as well give up and die.  Listen to my prayer for mercy as I cry out to You for help, as I lift my hands toward Your holy sanctuary…Praise the Lord!  For He has heard my cry for mercy.  The Lord is my strength and shield.  I trust Him with all my heart.  He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy.  I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.  The Lord gives His people strength.  He is a safe fortress for His anointed King.”- Psalm 28:1-2, 6-8

Here’s the song He gave me as I called out to Him.  None of the D’s you may be afflicted with can compare to what He did for you and me.  He’ll ALWAYS be there to lift you up when you fall.  Forgive me, Father, for losing sight of that.  Thank You for Your mercy, and I’m glad that You can still use me…no matter what condition I may be in.


17 responses to “The Deadly D’s…

  1. I’m glad you put on your big boy underwear and took action. Crying out to God is a whole lot better than crying like babies while feeling sorry for ourselves. Besides diapers aren’t as comfortable. 😀

    • Lol…thanks! I can only imagine what diapers feel like (I change enough of them these days :D), and I don’t imagine they’re that comfortable either. Be blessed, and thanks for reading :D.

  2. Thank you for that blessing Guy. I too have gone thru this many times but it was so much harder to go thru after Beths death. There are so many unanswered questions to this day and day after day I ask God to punish the ones that know somehow had a part in her death. I want to see them suffer as I have. Wrong, yes as a christian I should be praying for God to forgive them. Then we had to lose Kellie to a man who we know wants her for all the wrong reasons. There again I cry out and no answer. I can feel your pain. But I know I like you have to be patient and wait upon Him. The flesh in me wants it all to happen now but the christian in me knows I have to wait upon the Lord. I will keep you in my prayers and ask you please to keep my family in yours. I commend you for posting this because like most of us we would not admit to this. For me I feel like its just me that God has foresaken and then Satin really has a field day with me. Most people when you something like this say well I thought you were a christian. Well I would like to scream and say you know what if I was not a christian satin would not be attacking me and I would not be thinking these things at times. It just kills me because people feel like christians have such a perfect life. Well I could go on and on but I will hush, just wanted to thank you for this post and let you know my family will keep lifting you up to God. He loves your family and we do too. God bless you always.

    • Thanks so much, Nadine. We’ll keep lifting you and yours up as well. Even though we may be Christians, we’re still human beings. And it says somewhere in the Bible that we suffer for our faith in God. That urge to lash out at those who wrong us is something that I think we ALL go through. Just remember that He’s there for us if call His name. Through Him, all will be set right, and the healing will flow through our souls. Be blessed…:).

  3. And that is faith. Real faith. Most of us will just continue to sit here in the mud while it never occurs to fight back. Maybe that’s why this post brought me to tears. Thank you for sharing something that must not have been easy to share.

    • You’re very welcome, Terri. Since I’m the “wear my heart on my sleeve” kinda guy, it wasn’t too difficult :D. I’m just thankful that He was there to get me out of my doldrums. Be blessed…

  4. The Lord tells me not to entertain bad thoughts. Push them away before they can manifest. Much happier when my heart remains focused on Christ and All His glory!
    God Bless You!

  5. The BIG D that destroys is that DESIRE for Him. This brought me tears as I relived my own D times and the vision of His sacrifice for us all. peace to you and yours.

    • Thanks so much, Judi. I’m so thankful that He is there to deliver us from those deadly D’s… it took a lot of effort for me to get to this post as I was under a constant attack. That’s the awesome power of that sacrifice you were speaking of. Bless you!

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