I apologize for the delay between posts. It’s been kinda crazy around the Wolfe’s den these days. However, God is in control. And while things are still a bit chaotic, I know that He will lead us through according to what He has planned for us. So let’s get to it, shall we?
Let me ask you a question. What are the two most important words in any relationship? Are they, “I’m sorry?” Those are good, but, to me, they don’t even come close. In order for you and yours to experience bliss and happiness, the guys have to learn to say, “Yes, Dear.” Period. End of story.
Now, I’m trying to be a little funny here. But the reality of it is that when a guy can swallow his pride and bury his male ego, and tell his wife, girlfriend, fiancée “Yes, Dear”, he’ll be able to stave off many an argument or colorful exchange :). My pastor has subscribed to that principle for over thirty years, so there must be something there. Just don’t abuse your authority, ladies. Which brings me to the heart of this post…recognizing your roles in your relationship.
To better understand why we are the way we are as men and women, let’s first go to Genesis 3:9-19…
“Then the Lord God called to the man, ‘Where are you?’
He replied, ‘I heard You walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.’
‘Who told you that you were naked?’ the Lord God asked. ‘Have you eaten from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat?’
The man replied, ‘It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.’
Then the Lord God asked the woman, ‘What have you done?’
‘The serpent deceived me,’ she replied. ‘That’s why I ate it.’
Then the Lord God said to the serpent, ‘Because you have done this, you are cursed more than all the animals, domestic and wild. You will crawl on your belly, groveling in the dust as long as you live. And you will cause hostility between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring. He will strike your head and you will strike his heel.’
Then he said to the woman, ‘I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.'”
I don’t know about you, but you don’t have to hit me in the head with a brick to get me to see God’s word at work in my relationship with my wife. She wants to be the one in control all the time. I sometimes blame her for some of the arguments that we get into. And let’s not even get into the pain of having a baby…I can only imagine, thank God! 😀 The verse continues…
“And to the man He said, ‘Since you listened to your wife and ate from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat, the ground is cursed because of you. All your life you will struggle to scratch a living from it. It will grow thorns and thistles for you, though you will eat of its grains. By the sweat of your brow will you have food to eat until you return to the ground from which you were made. For you were made from dust and to dust you will return.'”
My father is in the twilight of his life. He turns 70 this year. He was always the hardest working man I have ever met. Growing up, we struggled a lot. I know what it’s like to be homeless, having lived in a tent in a state park and in a stall in a barn. We had to wash dishes in two five-gallon buckets, one with soapy water the other to rinse with. Yet he put food on the table. We had a roof over our head. We were together. He always tried to provide for us the best way he knew how. He was a jack-of-all-trades and mastered quite a few of them. How many of us are struggling? How many of us live from paycheck to paycheck? Are a couple of months behind on some bills? Can’t buy some of the name brand items and have to go no-frills? Any of this sound familiar? If not, look at the passage again.
I know the verse definitely speaks to me, but I’m still the most blessed man on the planet. I have two jobs and my wife was just blessed with a job working for a Christian eye doctor…both she and her husband were an answer to a lot of prayers. We have four beautiful girls and are expecting a fifth child (not sure what we’re having yet :)) in December. We have a beautiful home that we’re working to be able to buy…thanks to the builder being a great Christian man. It’s always a struggle, but because God gave me Lena and has shown me our respective roles in our relationship, our faith is strong that He will provide a way. We form the perfect “team of three”. Wait…is that a coincidence? God, man and woman. Father, Son and Holy Spirit. You decide, but I don’t believe in coincidences.
The whole relationship is a balancing act. To put it in Navy terminology, God is the Commander-in-Chief. The man is the Captain of the ship, and the woman is the Executive Officer…his right hand. Each has a role to keep the balance. Guys, you have to be like Spiderman…”With great power comes great responsibility.” You’re the leader of the house and relationship, but that doesn’t give you the right to be a tyrannical dictator. Gals, you’re not subservient to your man. But you do have to support him (face it ladies…we’re big babies that need encouragement and ego stroking :)) in what he does to lead you and guide the ship of your household. It’s not an easy task because our human nature gets in the way…as ordained by God in this verse.
The solution, I suggest to you, is to allow God to guide you in all you do. Men…pray He guides your thoughts and actions for His good and the good of your family. Women…pray your men guide you and your house according to God’s will. Pray to support your men so that you both can be Godly examples to those around you. Both of you together…take the time to be alone with God to strengthen you against the trials of life and this world. He can carry you through the storm with flying colors.
And when all else fails, a little “Yes, Dear” goes a long way. 😀